Please Don't Sue Me
by BeautyInTheLibrary
Summary: AU Series "I was trying to ask for directions and you accidentally pepper sprayed me cause you thought I was your stalker." AU Arthur/Merlin Stalker!Edwin. Part of an on going unrelated AU one shots prompted from tumblr


"I was trying to ask for directions and you accidentally pepper sprayed me cause you thought I was your stalker."

"It's just a precaution." Gwen had said. "I mean what are the odds after the restraining order he'd still come after you." Which did not make Merlin feel any better and had Gwen spewing nonsense and apologizes the way she does when she puts her foot in her mouth, as usual.

That had been a week ago, when she gave him the small can of pepper spray that went on his key chain. It was thoughtful, in a weird Gwen sort of way. It gave him a little comfort actually, having some kind of protection at hand at all times.

Merlin had been recently dealing with the seriously unwanted attention of Edwin, a boy he had a few college courses with last semester. The older boy mistaken Merlin's friendly nature as some more romantic and made many uncomfortable gestures to try to get him to go on dates. Then after turning him down for weeks and keeping his distance, Edwin started following the poor boy everywhere he went.

Merlin finally when to the police and ordered a restraining order after Edwin broke into his apartment and tried to force himself upon the young man. Of all the things Merlin expected from the college experience, that was not even on the list of the crazy outrageous things.

That was a month ago, Edwin had kept to the 50 feet or less rule rather well, pushing the boundaries only a few times. It was hard to keep distance when you went to the same university as your stalker. Merlin wasn't going to switch schools just because some creep wanted in his pants; he worked his ass off to get accepted!

He really needed to start working towards getting a car, bringing us to his walk back to the off campus dorms, unable to made the list this year to be on campus. The walk was long and far, with too many open spaces and not enough people to witness if Edwin were to just show up. He wasn't sure what might happen out in the open, the only reason he made it out last time was because his roommate came home. Thank the heavens for Lance and all his muscly goodness.

Not that Merlin thought about that…much. Lance was Gwen's and Merlin was a good friend.

Caught up in his thoughts of his unfortunately attractive taken roommate and creepers in the shadows, Merlin hadn't heard someone calling for him. Holding on to his keys as his brain mixed all sorts of things, armed for anything that came his way. When someone grabbed his shoulder, his brain screamed his time has come!

"DON'T TOUCH ME!" Merlin screamed, ripping himself from the hand, at the same time unleashing a load of the mace to the face of his attacker. Ha! Got him! Listen to his scream, Merlin's mind cheered…wait that guys is blond…oh shit! "Oh my god!"

The blond man was trying desperately trying to wipe the offending liquid from his eyes, yelling in agony, nearly falling over. "BLOODY HELL MATE! I JUST WANTED TO KNOW WHERE THE CONVENIENT STORE WAS!"

"Oh my god, oh my god, I am so so sorry!" Merlin panicked, hands failing, not sure what do now that he just assaulted this stranger. "I thought you were my stalker! I didn't mean! Are you alright? Of course you're not, who am I kidding! Let me help!" Without thinking on it, he grabbed the man's arm and started leading him to this dorm building, luckily it was just around the corner. "I live just here, I'll wash out your eyes, I am so sorry!" He apologized again, the blond man muttering and stumbling to keep up with him.

After they got into Merlin's dorm and washed out the mace the best they could and given the man a rag full of ice to sooth, letting him rest on the couch, the panic started to calm. Merlin could see the red and blistering around the man's tightly shut eyes and guilt settled heavily at the bottom of his stomach. A complete stranger was in his place, on his couch, in pain. All because he could not keep his thoughts focus and actually pay attention. That was always getting him in trouble; you'd think he'd learn.

"Arthur." The stranger mumbled some minutes later, waving his arm around as his other hand kept the ice pressed to his eyes.

Merlin started at him for a moment before realizing the man was introducing himself. He grabbed his and shook it awkwardly, this Arthur had rather lager hands and tough but not dry, like he played sports or something.

There goes your brain again, Merlin. Speak you moron.

"Merlin!" He blurted, flushing and glad the other was blind at the moment. "My name is Merlin." He said, much calmer.

Arthur laughed as they dropped hands. "You've got to be shitting me." He chuckled, sounding very disbelieving.

"I think I would know my own name." Merlin huffed, before realizing. He was having a slow day. "Oh.." He slowly bubbled into laughter till the both of them were shaking with it.

"I never thought I'd meet someone with parents who think they are so hilarious like mine. My sister's name is Morgana." Arthur grinned, it was gorgeous even if Merlin couldn't see his eyes matching it.

"They didn't."

"Oh they did. Nerds, am I right?" They shared a light laugh.

"I really am sorry…about…you know…macing you…" Merlin apologized again.

"I forgive you. You said something about some stalker? No wonder you were screeching."

Merlin gave Arthur a small shove. "I was not screeching! I was startled." He huffed when he heard Arthur chuckle, but was deeply glad he wasn't holding getting pepper sprayed against him.

"I did try to get your attention, no one else was around and I seemed to have taken a wrong turn. I just started attending the university nearby and needed some groceries." Arthur explained, slowly sitting up on the couch, keeping the ice still as best he could.

"Ablion U? You're going there?" Merlin asked.

"Don't sounds /that/ surprised, you may have gotten the jump on me but I am usually very sharp~" Arthur grinned or was that more of a smirk? It was attractive, Merlin decided.

"Oh no! It's not that! I just." Merlin sputtered, shaking his head and feeling bless Arthur couldn't see him. "I attend there as well, is all."

"Oh, then I guess you could show me around, seeing as I'll need a seeing eye student now." He teased. Merlin had no problem with that, it was the least he could do. He got concerned when suddenly that cute smirk disappeared into a frown. "Does your stalker go there as well?"

Merlin bit his lip, looking away forgetting he didn't have to look Arthur in the eye in the first place.

"I'm sorry, I mean, that is personal." Arthur apologized, like speaking to a cornered animal.

"No, it's alright. He does go there as well. It's where I met him, we have a similar major." Merlin explained.

After a moment of awkward silence, Arthur perked up. "Do you want me to beat him up for you? I'm strong."

Merlin bursted out laughing, not expecting something like that, but as Arthur was a stranger, he couldn't expect anything. "You…you dollophead, don't do that! You'd just get in trouble."

Arthur slowly removed his rag of what was now melting ice and cold water from his eyes, carefully rubbing them and hissing. He felt around for the coffee table to set the mess down before opening the most beautiful and blood shot eyes Merlin had ever seen.

"I am fairly certain," Arthur spoke in a low and serious tone that sent tingles down Merlin's spine as he was trapped in those skies. "Dollophead is not an actual word or proper insult." That adorable smirk made a comeback and Merlin knew right then and there he was doomed.

Next in my AU series, non betaed rushed certainly xp


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